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Even If

A dear, sweet friend tagged me recently in a post about a new song that she knew I would love. She said it’s the kind of song you fall to your knees on….and oh, she was right. But it’s so much more. It’s the kind of song you fall to your knees, lift up your hands, and cry out to the One and only Living God who can do all, sees all, knows all, and you beg Him to help you live your life just as the song sings about. My sweet, God-fearing friend knows some of the struggles I’ve been dealing with, and she also knows my heart for worship. She sees thru the divide of hymns and contemporary music; it’s all music giving praise and glory to The One who sits on The Throne. She’s the one I call out to for an extra prayer, or cry to when I don’t have words. I can go months without talking to her, and pick up the phone and talk like we saw each other yesterday. She inspires me to be a better person, a more faithful Christian, a stronger Christ-follower, a more loving wife, a more accepting friend. She never offers judgment to anyone, only love! I hope one day I am able to be like her. So, Mrs. Jo Ann, this is for you.

Mercy Me has released a new song titled, “Even If” and justly so. I don’t know about you, but for me, there is so much hurt on my heart. Plans gone wrong, feeling like a failure, questions not being answered, physical pain, death, loss, the list could keep going. All of these things weigh on us; some more than others, but all will, at some point, have an impact on our lives. Some days, it feels like all of those things are piled on top of one another, and that pile is heaped right on top of my shoulders, or more specifically–my heart. It literally, physically, hurts my heart right now to just be here, in this moment with so many unanswered questions; or perhaps, questions not necessarily unanswered, but just not answered yet or how I want them to be answered. And I find myself going back to that scripture: Matthew 17:20, where Christ tells us we only need faith as big as a mustard seed-a tiny dot of a seed-to accomplish anything-to move MOUNTAINS! Just a little faith. Well, this song nailed it…..that’s about the size of my faith right now, and I’m not proud of it. But, it’s all we have to have. God said so. He said it! He is truth, therefore what He says is always true. I have clung to these words lately. “Faith as big as a mustard seed.” However, if you read the verse, in its true context, it doesn’t say “if you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you WILL move mountains” it only says you “can.” Not so much you, as God, but still it is only when He decides to move the mountain and if He decides to. If He doesn’t, do we lose faith? Honestly, yes, sometimes. We shouldn’t, but we do. I don’t want to. I want to be the one who says, “God didn’t move the mountain, and it is well with my soul, still.” I pray I will be that person, because the mountain I’m asking God to move is beyond large. It’s more of a mountain range, than just one mountain. Go big or go home, right? Even if He chooses to leave it still, to leave the hurt, to let it be….I hold to the hope that I will be okay with His choice. I want to still be faithful. I pray I can do that for Him, since He has done so much for me. The words to the song are below. Read them. Absorb them. Pray over them. I will pray that each person reading this, no matter what your mountain or mountain range is, and no matter if or when God chooses to or not to move it, that it will be well with your soul….Even if.

They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t

It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Good thing
A little faith is all I have right now
But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Give me the strength to be able to sing
‘It is well with my soul’

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone
I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

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Author:

I am a child of God, first and foremost. Secondly I am a wife; very much ( and sometimes undeservingly) loved, by my husband Sam. And last, but most certainly not least, I am a mom to 3 beautiful boys: Mitchell, Andrew and Buddy. We homeschool, love family time, and enjoy helping others. I am also a doula. I love my work and love writing about it as well. I am very passionate about my beliefs, and my blogs tend to show that. Enjoy reading!

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